Thursday, January 1, 2009

It's Your Time To Shine, 2009

And gosh darn it you better shine real good.

So this is the time for New Years Resolutions that never actually happen. Today all the people who pledged to themselves, others who don't care or pretty much anyone or anything that'll sit there listening that they're going to walk everyday, or that they're going to donate money to the Salvos every week, or that they'll keep that crazy dream to live alive and kicking will stay at home, use all their money for pizza cos they're at home and not walking and donating and then kill themselves because why would they want to live? They couldn't even keep their damn New Years Resolutions. How will they survive in this crazy world?

So anyway, you know how you see ads for stuff like dental floss and they say, nine out of ten
dentists recommend that you use dental floss. Or nine out of ten dentists recommend brushing your teeth twice daily. How are the one out of ten?

Ten percent of dentists reckon that you shouldn’t really bother with brushing or flossing. Brilliant. 10 percent, that’s a lot. That means that if you change dentists every time you go by the tenth go you’ll find a dentist who will suggest not brushing. That’d be weird.

“Sorry, Mr. Dentist. What are you washing my mouth out with?”
“Okay then, that’s a bit weird.”
“Are you a dentist?”
“Well when you become a dentist you can suggest that you floss and brush and join the rest of the followers. Nine out of ten!! Nine people out of ten are not brave enough to have a go and try something new!!”

The new year is boring already.

Celebrity Death Predicton:
Celebrity: John McCain
Method of Death: Natural causes

Sarah "Maverick" Palin

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