Thursday, December 25, 2008

Happy Birthday Jesus

I saw an ad last night for the Channel 7 news, it had all this footage of violence and fires and stupid investigations. Stuff like, “Are you paying too much for Jellybeans?” And then it showed these idiots having a punch up. The slogan was something like, “7 News, we get the footage that the others don’t”.

I thought, “Man, that’s one hell of a news service, check that footage, those drunk teens fighting, and those loser neighbours yelling at each other over the fence, they really do get footage that the others don’t. I’m making the switch!!”

I didn’t really think that, I’m not retarded.

The reason Channel 7 gets the footage that the others don’t is because bogans punching seven shades of shit out of one another is not news. That’s the main reason no other news service gets that footage, IT’S NOT NEWS!!!!!

There was the creepiest thing in the world on Today Tonight this one time. It was about kids being breastfed for a little too long. I’m sorry, but when you can read you’ve got to take some time off the boob (bewb). It’s like this:

Can’t read – Boob (bewb). For feeding.

Can read – No boob (bewb). Whatsoever.

Can read (but old enough to fool around) – Boob (bewb). On the provison that everyone’s into that kind of thing. It should be noted that boob’s just there for fun, not sustainance.

You should have seen the weird women that were like, “It’s a great thing to do, it’s a chance for my daughter to say how much she likes it”.

Hey lady!! That story doesn’t check out. First, a child being breastfed should not be on the boob (bewb) if that child can talk. Also, how is the child talking with a face full of boob (bewb)? It’s impossible. Those poor kids one of them was at school, that kids life is going to be hell.

So I watched that movie Prom Night finally after like 6 months and everyone has already seen it. It was pretty good for a teen movie but it was still annoying and I found many faults.

1. As if teens can have such a nice prom like that.
2. Why weren't any of the kids having sex?
3. Where were the pervy teachers trying to hit on asian exchange students?
4. Why didn't the black kids get killed first? They usually do.
5. There were no nerds. Everyone was a jock or a head cheerleader.
6. No one had their hair up...weird

Anyway it was still pretty scary I love a good thriller spesh when someone is in front of a glass cupboard and then drops something and then comes up only to find a serial killer behind them and then they get their throat slit which is disgusting but it makes a good movie.

Don't you hate it when you get sick? And when you're sick you think to yourself God I'd do anything not to be sick right now I'll even do some exercise and then when youre better you're like whatever? Yeah it's annoying.

Celebrity Death Prediction:
Celebrity: Justin Timberlake
Method Of Death: Sat on by Beyonce

Douche Of The Day:
Lily Allen - for thinking she is better than Katy Perry when she is so not as Lily Allen is the fatter, really bad singer, lame song singing loser version of Katy Perry.

Jesse Mc Cartney

1 comment:

falco said...

haha, wow.. i hope you learned to read early. very early. i sense an awkward cultural divide :0