Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Return Of Bruno Was Too Soon.

So Return Of Bruno is a really good album. Haha, I kid. It's Bruce Willis' album. Don't buy it. He's an awesome actor and all round sexy old dude, but singing? Don't fuck it up, man. He's an Old Gold.

Old Gold
adj. A rich, hot, old man.
noun. Makers of the best dark chocolate.

Ok so I'm converting a whole bunch of movies and tv shows so I can watch them on my iPhone which hasn't arrived yet and now my computer is lagging like a bitch with no crack coming home from a crazy party in California.

California. Knows how to party.

It seems I haven't blogged in a while. This happens a lot and it's not really that I'm busy it's more that I'm lazy and I'm usually watching American Dad, Arrested Development or simply baking a cake. So while I discuss with Alice how I want to be the Cookie Monster (COOOKIEEE!!! OM NOM NOM NOM) I will think about what to write....


Ok I had no thinking music so this may not be the best train of thought. Lisa needs braces! Dental plan. Lisa needs braces! Dental plan. Damn it, wrong train of thought.

Ok so I was watching Bewitched today. Such a great show I really love it HOWEVER I came across a predicament. Should I laugh? You see, dear minions, we are living in the 00's and Bewitched was made/set in what, the 60's? So obviously, there would be some cultural differences. The ones I'm referring to are the sexist ones. Now in this episode, Samantha's neighbour Gladys Kravitz catches her cleaning the house using her nose fuelled powers so Sam covers it up by telling her that Gladys gained the ability of telekinesis. I guess we're meant to think that a woman will believe any old piece of crap you'll feed her. Then her husband gets really annoyed because she's concentrating on using her "power" and not cooking any food. The laughter track was really apparent at that point and I felt a bit awkward. Sure Abner Kravitz made it sound a bit funny, being all "I never thought I'd beg to eat her cooking". It's kind of weird when you watch something so old and everything that was normal to them, like Samantha having to pick up the phone and the dudes don't even bat an eyelash. Or the sexual jokes. Like I didn't know they even had sex back in the 60's.

So much has changed but then again some has stayed the same. This is still hilarious no matter what the decade:

Samantha: [To Abner] You'd better go home.
Abner: What is it?
Samantha: She thinks she's getting vibrations.
Abner: Vibrations? She's chewing on the electric blanket again!

That is TFG.

adj. Too fucking good.

Here are some more funny things.

For Fuck's Sake
e.g. OMG why are you alive FFS!

Shut The Fuck Up
e.g. STFU FFS!

Total Loneliness Annihilation
e.g. When people see these abbreviations they'll get TLA
ffs stfu

That Was Shit
e.g. Hey I got a joke right yeah chezzin yeh bro

Too Far
e.g. Dad died yesterday I'm sorry... JKS!
TF ffs!

Total Mood Killer
e.g. Just found out I have a penis TMK!
Omg srs black is my dad TMK!

Kickarse FM
e.g. God my periods are so KAFM!

Hammy and Undies
Hamish And Andy
e.g. Did you listen to Hammy and Undies? They are so kewl lub!

Random Shit Now
e.g. Just doing random shit now aye yeah aye aye chez

Whatchda doing?
nm, just rsn hbu?

Srs Black
Sirius Black
e.g. U srs? U lyk Srs Black? EXPELIAMUS!

Too Fucking Good
e.g. OMG I have AIDS TFG!!

In Real Life
e.g. In real life I have no friends

Too Many Abbreviations
e.g. omg icfbi irl I have TMA syndrome hbu? nm k

Holy Shit
e.g. Holy Shit Pile, Jesus!

So Freaking Confused
e.g. hs sgf b o n f irl OMG SFC!! (Holy shit, she got fat because of no friends in real life)

How Cool
e.g. My paintings got sold!

e.g. Srs? You think I ish fat?

e.g. Ish kewl, lub lub

Srsly Chezzin
Seriously Bitching
e.g. Woah that is srsly chezzin
Did you see that fat whore? What a chez aye yeah chat aye chezzin!!

Suck My Dick
e.g much love but smd bitch

Ta ta for now, not forever! But maybe for a substantial period of time, who knows?

Nicholas Cage,

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