Happy Birthday Jesus

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I saw an ad last night for the Channel 7 news, it had all this footage of violence and fires and stupid investigations. Stuff like, “Are you paying too much for Jellybeans?” And then it showed these idiots having a punch up. The slogan was something like, “7 News, we get the footage that the others don’t”.

I thought, “Man, that’s one hell of a news service, check that footage, those drunk teens fighting, and those loser neighbours yelling at each other over the fence, they really do get footage that the others don’t. I’m making the switch!!”

I didn’t really think that, I’m not retarded.

The reason Channel 7 gets the footage that the others don’t is because bogans punching seven shades of shit out of one another is not news. That’s the main reason no other news service gets that footage, IT’S NOT NEWS!!!!!

There was the creepiest thing in the world on Today Tonight this one time. It was about kids being breastfed for a little too long. I’m sorry, but when you can read you’ve got to take some time off the boob (bewb). It’s like this:

Can’t read – Boob (bewb). For feeding.

Can read – No boob (bewb). Whatsoever.

Can read (but old enough to fool around) – Boob (bewb). On the provison that everyone’s into that kind of thing. It should be noted that boob’s just there for fun, not sustainance.

You should have seen the weird women that were like, “It’s a great thing to do, it’s a chance for my daughter to say how much she likes it”.

Hey lady!! That story doesn’t check out. First, a child being breastfed should not be on the boob (bewb) if that child can talk. Also, how is the child talking with a face full of boob (bewb)? It’s impossible. Those poor kids one of them was at school, that kids life is going to be hell.


So I watched that movie Prom Night finally after like 6 months and everyone has already seen it. It was pretty good for a teen movie but it was still annoying and I found many faults.

1. As if teens can have such a nice prom like that.
2. Why weren't any of the kids having sex?
3. Where were the pervy teachers trying to hit on asian exchange students?
4. Why didn't the black kids get killed first? They usually do.
5. There were no nerds. Everyone was a jock or a head cheerleader.
6. No one had their hair up...weird

Anyway it was still pretty scary I love a good thriller spesh when someone is in front of a glass cupboard and then drops something and then comes up only to find a serial killer behind them and then they get their throat slit which is disgusting but it makes a good movie.

Don't you hate it when you get sick? And when you're sick you think to yourself God I'd do anything not to be sick right now I'll even do some exercise and then when youre better you're like whatever? Yeah it's annoying.

Celebrity Death Prediction:
Celebrity: Justin Timberlake
Method Of Death: Sat on by Beyonce

Douche Of The Day:
Lily Allen - for thinking she is better than Katy Perry when she is so not as Lily Allen is the fatter, really bad singer, lame song singing loser version of Katy Perry.

Jesse Mc Cartney
xoxo

That Doesn't Feel Like A Massage To Me

-How freaking cute is it? You can toats make them too at Cube Craft.

Whenever I go out or get a brain wave from a heat wave from staying the house wave, I see so much stuff that I say, "I'll put that in the blog", but then I don't actually do it because I forget what it is that impressed me so.

That reminds me, you know what I think is stupid? People who say, I have to go to this party, bar, pub, sporting event - whatever. You don't have to go. If you don't go I'm pretty sure whatever the event is will continue. I don't think that the Swans will stop playing St. Kilda when it's revealed you're not at the game. I don't think that Jude Bolton will start walking off the ground, with his shoulders slumped, despondent, upset, take a seat on the bench and start to take his boots off. And then Paul Roos calls him on the little phone, Heath James, the runner (and one of the greats) will yell out across the bench, "Bolts!! Roosy want to speak with you!!” Jude will then explain how he can't play without you there, it just doesn't feel right. Roos will then leave the coaches box, walk on to the ground call the umpires into the middle and explain that you're not there and that there's no other option but to forfeit. The Swannies then miss the finals by a game. The game that you said you'd go to. If that was to be the chain of events, then you could say, "I can’t on Sunday, I've got to go to the footy".

Anyway, what else is also really irritating is when someone ruins something excellent because they think they can do better on thier own but then they suck at that and wish they never ruined the original something in the first place. EXAMPLE! Billy Corgan leaving the Smashing Pumpkins for his new band Zwan. What's the prob? Well no one knows who the fuck Zwan is. I just bought the CD cos it was his band and it was for 5 bucks. Why would you fuck something up when it was so good just to show how good you are but then end up hating yourself and everyone around you cos everyone else hates you and everyone around you cos you fucked up EVERYTHING?! Pressure. And in the end good old Billy Goat Corgan was quoted last year saying "I want my band back" but did they care? No. Cos he fucked everything up.

End of rant.

Celebrity Death Prediction:
Celebrity: Zac Efron
Method Of Death: Snu Snu

Laters Skaters

Zac Efron's homo erotic spirit
xox